Feiticeria...

I don't normally like this sort of thing, but I thought this one was quite interesting...and it breaks up the 4 hour QI marathon I have completed this evening...

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN people right now.
1. Stop taking other people's interests/music tastes/haircuts/mannerisms and trying to make them your own, its incredibly frustrating and nauseating to watch. Because, actually, you are brilliant as just yourself & although you copy to make people like you it actually aggravates them. So start doing your own thing and don't be embarrased.
2. You annoy me sometimes, as I am sure I annoy you, you do irrational things that I don't understand and you convince yourself you are doing the right thing. Despite this, I know you would literally rip the face of anyone who tried to hurt me, and stand by any irrational acts that I might commit. That is why I know you will be my friend for life, when all of the riff-raff have gone.
3. I know its because you care, but sometimes you are so possessive and angry you make me want to stick two fingers up.
4. Chill-out and enjoy what you have, because you are letting the best years of your life pass by. You are good at what you do, so don't get so stressed about what other people might think if you don't get it perfect first time. You are so focused now, but if you don't address it in 10 years you might wake up miserable.
5. Stop looking down at other people and their career choices because you think yours is superior. The fact that you lie about your achievement/where you have studied/how good my course is actually reveals alot more about your insecurity over your intelligence than anything else. Respect the differences between people, embrace them, and stop placing such a value on material possessions, they will not leave you contented.
6. I love you, but I can't get my head around why you can't grasp that it isn't fair that I have to struggle this much.
7. You are the only person I know who is more pragmatic than me, and you can calm me down. I finally feel like I am beginning to understand you.
8. I know behind your determination lies a lost, little, insecure girl, thats why I let it pass. Your controlling and opinionated nature hides alot and I think you know it too. If you opened up more, more people would be prepared to tolerate it
9. I don't know why I am a more annoying person when I am around you, but I am absolutely terrified it will push you away one day.
10. You have no idea really, I'm not sure you ever will, I feel that this is tragic.


NINE things about yourself.
1. I've almost got to the point where I don't care what people think, and will wear and do what I want
2. Despite the amount I party, I sometimes feel like I am a fundamentally sensible person. I can't work out whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I want to lead a fantastic, debauched lifestyle, but not if it means I am late for work. mm...
3. I still privately struggle with my OCD on a daily basis, and it angers me when people use the term casually...
4. I am terrified of not getting where I want to be in life. This almost leads to me just choosing the easiest option, because I am scared of rejection.
5. I dream about 1 person alot.
6. I wish I was the person I imagine that I am, sometimes I wonder whether I will ever get there.
7. I feel guilty all of the time for the most mundane things, its the bane of my life but I can't get it under control.
8. My overanalysing might actually be my downfall one day...
9. I want to be like everybody else, except myself, I have only just begun to address this.


EIGHT things you look for in a boyfriend
1. A special smile
2. Patience
3. Adventurous
4. Understanding
5. Trusting
6. Carefree, to keep my pessimism under control
7. Sexy
8. Cheeky fringe (of course)

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot.
1. I wish I was financially secure enough to be able to indulge my need to travel and study
2. I wish I didn't worry obsessively about every aspect of my life
3. Are you actually proud of me?
4. Will you still love me in 5 years? Do you really still love me now?
5. Why are my cheeks so massive?
6. I want to be someone else, doing something else
7. Actually I do really love my life sometimes, I'm luckier than I think I am...

SIX things you do before you fall asleep.
1. Select a program on BBC iPlayer/4od
2. Have a drink
3. Do my ridiculous gas/lights/switch/door check 4 times
4. Check facebook
5. Get undressed and washed
6. Start thinking about what I want to dream about

FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment.
1. Alllly Reeefa
2. Jess Locker
3. My mum
4. My close home friends
5. My close unnii circle

FOUR things you really enjoy doing.
1. Spending the day by myself, drinking coffee, smoking, reading, planning and doing absolutely nothing of value. Its the only time I feel truly organised and under no pressure.
2. Being in the company of close friends, whatever the setting.
3. Listening to music, especially in a festival situation.
4. Making lists.

THREE things you absolutely hate:
1. Worrying
2. Injustice
3. Bigotry

TWO places you want to visit.
1. South East Asia
2. South America

ONE thing you are afraid of.
1. Falling short